


Team Bonding Exercise

by CurlicueCal, LaughingStones



Category: Motorcity
Genre: "mer"city lmao, F/M, Handcuffed Together, Kissing, M/M, crackfic, mermaid au, poly-Burners - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-04
Updated: 2016-12-04
Packaged: 2018-09-06 12:58:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8752519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CurlicueCal/pseuds/CurlicueCal, https://archiveofourown.org/users/LaughingStones/pseuds/LaughingStones
Summary: “This is entirely your fault,” Chuck said.
-----
In which our five Burner mermaids encounter a fiendish handcuff trap.





	

**Author's Note:**

> many thanks to Roach for beta-ing our crack :33
> 
> we have no excuse

“This is entirely your fault,” Chuck said. He tried to cross his arms and huffed when he came up against the limits of the handcuffs. 

“Evil trap things totally aren't Texas’s fault. ‘Sides, I offered to flex us free with my incredible muscles.” Texas arched his tail and fluttered the fin, demonstrating some of these muscles. “ _You_ said no.”

Chuck flicked his own tail irritably, shifting away from a stand of kelp that was tickling him. “Maybe that’d help if the other cuff was around _your_ wrist. But it's on mine, and I'm not interested in having a broken wrist or getting my hand ripped off. Which is exactly what it felt like was going to happen when you flexed. Also, _you_ have no right to complain about it being a trap. Me saying ‘Texas don’t put your hand in that’ was meant to be a warning, not a suggestion. Idiot.”

“If Texas wasn’t supposed to touch it they wouldn’t have made it so shiny. Shiny things are for touching.” He beamed triumphantly and actually succeeded in crossing his own arms, Chuck yanked flailing through the water behind the cuffs.

“Stop it! Cut that out!” Chuck yelped, and glared from a rather closer range. Also, upside down. “God, you’re impossible. Stop being a jerk and help me get to Dutch so he can cut these things apart.” He blew a stream of bubbles to try to knock his bangs back into place. This failed as Texas grabbed him and spun him right side up.

“Sure, if you want to do it the sissy way,” Texas snorted, and took off at top speed, dragging a loudly annoyed Chuck behind him.

\------

“Lemme get this straight,” Dutch said dubiously. “You were exploring a sunken ship and you found these things lying around. Texas thought it was a bracelet. And then when he put it on, the other cuff _lunged_ and grabbed Chuck. Am I hearin’ you right?”

“Ooh, ooh,” Texas said. “Tell him about the ninja sharks!”

Chuck threw up exactly one hand, hampered by the handcuffs. “There weren’t any ninja sharks!”

“There were in Texas’s version.”

“I’m sure there were,” Dutch said, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Well, it’s just a dang shame for the two of you that I loaned out my bolt cutters to the Cabler selkie colony. Gonna take me an hour or so to jet up there and back.”

“Texas will go!”

“Can you please focus, for maybe five seconds, on the fact that I am attached to you by the wrist?” Chuck said in a shrill voice. 

“You can come too,” Texas said generously. “Texas can swim _way_ faster than you,” he told Dutch, “even dragging Skinny here.”

Chuck curled up in the water, hiding his face in his tail. “I’m going to die. You’re going to yank my hand off and I'll bleed to death, if I'm not eaten by sharks.”

“Nah, Texas’ll punch the sharks! Then you can have a shark head on your arm instead of a hand!”

“Yeah, none of that stuff’s going to happen, and it’s gonna not-happen _here_ ,” Dutch said firmly. “Ain’t no way Tennie’s gonna hand one of my tools over to _you_ , Texas. You two hang still; I’ll be back in an hour.”

\------

“Hey, Dutch, can you--” Mike tail-kicked to a stop. He tipped his head to the side. “Am I… interrupting something?”

“Just kill me now,” Chuck moaned, curling into a loop again. This upset the tenuous equilibrium of Dutch and Texas, whose tails instinctively unwrapped from each other to try to halt their forward spin, the three silver cuffs that held them together twisting gently in their midst.

“Chuck, cut it out,” Dutch snapped, flailing his free hand, which held a mangled pair of bolt cutters. “You’re messin’ us up, man!”

“Hey, Tiny!” Texas said cheerfully. “You wanna come play? We’re fighting an evil handcuff monster!”

Mike swam closer, craning his neck, and Chuck suddenly snapped out of his nautilus curl again, waving one hand frantically. “No, no, no, don’t--!”

“What the heck--?” Mike said, grabbing Chuck’s cuffed wrist. The fins down his tail all flicked out in shock as a fourth chained cuff abruptly appeared around his own wrist. “Whoa! Wait, what--?”

“ _Great,_ ” Dutch said loudly. “Yep. This is just--really great. Good work, guys. Nice job bringing home random freaky annoying magical traps that break my tools.”

“Texas is an _excellent_ treasure hunter.” Texas tugged his cuffed wrist experimentally, yanking his three podmates into each other.

“Texas, dangit!” said Dutch.

“Oof,” Chuck muttered, thumping into Mike, then tangling their tails together as he tried to work his way loose again. “I hate you all.”

Mike laughed and flipped himself agilely up out of the tangle. He grinned at Chuck upside-down. “Aw, you don’t hate me, right, buddy?”

“I _told_ you not to come over here,” Chuck grumbled.

“I guess it's a good thing Julie’s not here,” Dutch said.

“Like she'd get snagged by something like this,” Chuck snorted. “Where is she?” he added, frowning around.

“Went to visit Foxy,” Dutch said, and stopped. 

“Foxy--” Chuck started.

“--knows about magic,” Dutch finished with him.

\------

Four-way tandem swimming was more difficult than one might imagine. Assuming one’s imagination was not Chuck’s, which was fully up to the task of any pessimistic scenario that might be called for. There were always worse possibilities. For example, it had taken a lot of shrieking to convince Mike and Texas not to try to borrow one of the propulsion jets to speed things up. Compared to the disturbing possibilities that conjured up, everyone's tails colliding every other stroke was barely worth mentioning.

“Hey, Jessie!” Texas hollered, when they spotted Julie in the distance, swimming back from Amazon territory. “Come see the cool thing Texas found!”

“No, don’t!” yelled the other three, more or less in unison.

Julie swam a cautious few lengths closer. “What’s up with the jewelry?”

“It’s a magic bracelet!” Texas announced. “Texas rescued it from ninja sharks! With _lasers_.”

“Texas is an idiot!” Dutch yelled.

“You should probably stay over there,” Mike said.

Chuck just groaned and put his tailfin over his head again.

“Not actually the explanation I was looking for, guys,” Julie said, swimming a little higher to get a better view of the silver chains stretching between them.

Dutch huffed and explained, overriding Texas’s attempts to elaborate with very little patience.

“Really, guys?” Julie said when he was done. “Are you telling me out of the four of you no one thought to read the engraving?”

“The what?” Mike said blankly.

Chuck abruptly looked down at his cuff and groaned. “We don't need Foxy, we just needed to stop panicking for two seconds and be _literate_.”

“You’re kiddin’ me,” Dutch said, staring at the words on his cuff. “‘A kiss is my key’?”

Chuck went bright red, fins turning purple all down his spine and tail.

“The heck is that supposed to mean?” said Mike.

Julie rolled her eyes. “I thought that was pretty obvious, but okay. I’ve heard about these things: land people used to use them to solve arguments. You handcuff two idiots together and they have to work out their problems. When they’re not angry anymore they kiss and they’re free.” She grinned cheerfully. Chuck had no excuse for thinking it looked sharklike. “Go on, boys. I’m watching.”

Mike narrowed his eyes at her, which did nothing to hide the way his own fins were flushing violet. “Not really helping with the unresolved anger issues, Jules.”

“Hey, we need to get you and Jessie one of these magic bracelet thingies,” Texas said.

“No, I think I’m good,” Julie said firmly, backfinning farther away.

“You’re supposed to kiss Mike to make up,” Texas told her. “It’s on the bracelet.”

“Actually, that’s you,” Julie said, with a return of the sharky grin. “Looks like you’ve got a lot of making up to do, Tex.”

“Why would anyone be mad at Texas?” Texas objected.

“Oh, for crying out loud,” Dutch said, and hauled him in by the wrist. He pressed his lips up against Texas’s, sending Texas’s eyes wide and startled, then broke away and tugged futilely at his wrist. “What the heck?” he said, glaring at Julie. “Is it broken?”

“Texas’s turn!”

Dutch yelped as he was hauled into a very enthusiastic return kiss. This one went on a good deal longer. By the time it broke, Texas’s broad hands were wrapped around Dutch’s waist and Dutch had his fingers twined in Texas’s hair. It took a moment of panting and staring at each other before they realized both their cuffs were gone.

“Oh, that is so completely unfair!” Chuck squawked, flailing the hand that wasn’t still cuffed to Mike.

“You want to make up with Texas, too, little man?” Texas asked cheerfully.

“As if,” Chuck huffed, and turned pretty colors again. 

“You’re up next, Mike,” said Julie, helpfully.

“Still not helping,” Mike muttered. He shot a glance sideways at Chuck, tugged lightly on the short chain between them. “You mind?”

Chuck stared at him, face going darker red. His tail flicked nervously. “No?” he squeaked.

“Cool,” said Mike, smiling, and leaned in. 

After a few minutes their tails twined together. After a while longer, Dutch glanced from Julie, who was watching avidly, to Texas, who was just staring with his mouth open.

“I’m gonna go,” Dutch said.

“Should we tell them the bracelet thing's gone?” Texas asked as the open cuffs fell toward the ocean floor below. 

“Nah,” Julie said. “They’ll figure it out.” She sighed a cloud of bubbles. “I just realized I blew off the chance to get in on all this smooching _before_ mentioning the engraving.”

Dutch and Texas looked at each other, both slightly wide-eyed. Dutch cleared his throat. “I'm pretty sure we could get you in on _something_ ,” he offered, holding out a tentative hand to Julie. 

Eyes narrow and thoughtful, she searched his face, then Texas’s. Texas nodded vigorously. “Well,” Julie said with a slow resurgence of her shark smile. Reaching out, she grabbed each of them by the wrist. “C’mon, boys. Let’s go get into something.”


End file.
